For my winter camp classes, I made a video activity with my students.  They made the concept, script, and the acting, while I did the camera work and video editing.

1st year Students

My 3rd year students

November update

Nearly 3 years ago before I left for Korea, I, like, so many expats, thought it would be exciting to keep a blog and inform my friends back home on what life is like on the other side of the world, and in a place where I’m one day ahead of everyone else. However, my blog writing turned into something more than just being an informative piece for the blogging/social network public. It became a reminder of the pre-conceptions I had about the world then vs. now. My blogging has since lay dormant in the last several months, not for the lack of desire to write, but because, I reached a point where I’ve been able to accept, and even embrace a lot of uncertainties or nuances that comes with being a traveler. With many of the blogs I’ve read, a lot of the expat bloggers in some way or another are still coping with those cultural differences. Not to say that I don’t have those moments of expat anxiety, but rather it’s become my own accepted way of this lifestyle, and just quickly moving on from each situation and on to the next.

As the leaves are turning its colors, I find myself ready to change colors. The colors of my leaves that were once so fresh when I came to Korea are getting older and ready to fall off. As each week is ending, the whispering reminders of my coming departure becomes louder and louder. It is the voice that I can’t easily ignore, but a reminder that my future will take on, it’s safe to say, a completely different direction.

As I’m starting to prepare the last few lesson plans I have left of the semester, I can’t help but feel incredibly sentimental. I’m ready to say goodbye to yet another graduating class, but this time, to a class that I’ve been with since Day 1. My relationship with that class is one of love and hate; I’ve been a witness to both their growing pains and their pains in the asses moment. I recently found myself watching many of my old videos from my 1st year, and amazed at how fast they have grown up from the cute, innocent, fresh-out-of elementary school phase to having bad cases of acne, apathy towards society, girl-loving, ready-to-start high school attitude. Having collected a library full of videos from that year, I was able to kindly share them with my students, much to their horror and chagrin, as they are being reminded of how cute and innocent they once were. As I have seen them grow through the turbulent transition of puberty, I have found, for lack of a better phrase, growing both professionally and personally in Korea.

I was already 25 years old when I left Korea, but never had the opportunity to be a “true adult” back home. I was already finished with college the year before, but was struggling with the job search, having to live at home, and not being able to obtain the much-needed independence and personal self-respect I was seeking. It wasn’t until being in Korea allowed me that opportunity to finally make the transition into a late-blooming adult. I can truly say that working with kids has kept me grounded, and pushed me to focus on other opportunities that I had otherwise never considered which would lead me to my next topic.

This year, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time doing volunteer work outside of school. Gone are the days of weekend partying, domestic traveling, and college-like immaturity, and replaced with spending more time visiting orphanages, and women shelters in Busan, raising money and other donations for them, and enlisting new volunteers and organizations that we can lend a helping hand to. In a nutshell, it’s been an eye-opening experience for me as this has made me more aware of the unlucky situation that many of these people in the shelters, and orphanages are in, and how the current political climate has hampered a lot of the goals that these organizations want to achieve for those that are in need. I’ve been fortunate to have a small group of dedicated volunteers who are using their energy and time into doing the kind of work that often gets overlooked for many of the new expats here. With Christmas coming up, I’ve been currently trying to start up a Toy Drive and Christmas party dinner for two of the orphanages in Busan.

As I’m still trying to articulate my feelings about the near end of my contract with my school, I am still struggling to find a way to send the proper goodbye send off to all of my students and faculty. There’s no doubt in my mind that I’m going to miss them tremendously, and all of the memories that I’ve accumulated from being around them. I asked several students from this year’s graduating class about where they think I’ll go next, and NO ONE mentioned me about leaving Korea, but instead, believe that I’ll stay in Korea whether it’s at the same school or somewhere else. It doesn’t make it any easier when I will finally tell them the news, but in all honesty, I will probably miss them much more than they would with me. As I’ve experienced from the last 2 graduating classes, I’ve seen several of my former students, a few I keep in touch with, but by that time, the emotional connection is already distant, and as the cliché goes, life keeps on going no matter how much you want to suspend it. It is that reality that I have made my peace with, knowing that the experience has been worthwhile, and that the stage has been set for newer moments.

Alas, I have a mere few months before I am gone, but the truth is, I’m starting to recognize, and perhaps not fully yet, of the impact that the Korean experience has done for me. Nearly 3 years, the only thing I’ve truly learned is how little I truly know, and how comforting that feeling is.

August update

As I’m sitting here wasting away hour after hour of office time at my school, I am less than 24 hours away from my flight to Sydney, Australia. The bucket list continues to get a bit smaller as I can cross Australia off the things-to-do list. Australia seems to be that trip on everyone’s bucket list. The allure of kangaroos, koala bears, the scenic view of the Sydney Opera House, the endless adventures that one can dream about. It seems to have it all. Also, it is the very fact that it is isolated from the rest of the world that makes it fairly exotic, and somewhat out of reach for many travelers.

Funny what a mere few years living abroad can do to a person. The places that I thought I’d never be able to visit have been coming into fruition. The weather has been brutally wet and humid in Korea this summer, so to be able to visit Australia during their current winter time (60 F average weather) is a welcome relief. I’ll be taking off from Seoul/Incheon Airport in the afternoon, arrive in Hong Kong for a brief hour layover, and head straight down to Sydney on an overnight flight which will have me arrive there at 7 am. 14 hours total will be the expected time I’ll be in the air. I’m dreading the lack of sleep, but I’m comforted with the fact that I’ll have some good movies and music to watch and listen to courtesy of Cathay Pacific Airways. Guess United Airlines or any American airliner haven’t gotten the memo yet? They’re showing Kung Fu Panda 2 already! (yes!!!). This will preserve my iPod from overuse during my long flight.

In the meantime, my summer camp has already concluded. It was a much better overall experience compared to last year when I struggled, and became increasingly worn out by the time August rolled around. I came up with some new ideas which included a week dedicated to doing video projects which my students had a great time doing. I was quite surprised at the ideas and concepts they came up with which allowed me to focus on the filming and video editing.

Being that this is my 3rd year, I feel like I’m starting to figure things out a little more quickly and confidently as a teacher at my school. Though with every student, there will always be a curveball when you think you’ve got everything covered, but I think that’s where a lot of people get into trouble is the fact that they feel there’s nothing to improve on once they reach their peak. It goes back to the saying that my friend Lisa eloquently said “A wise man knows how truly little he knows, while a fool boasts on what little he knows.”

Halfway into my contract, and with only the next semester ending on Christmas with a few weeks of winter camp, I’m very close to the finish line. I’ve been often reminded from some of my friends who left their schools on how hard it was to say goodbye to their students whom they’ve grown attached to. However, as they all lamented, life goes on. The emails from students and fellow colleagues become fewer and fewer. The kids are growing up and moving on to a different phase in their life, and my friends themselves are preoccupied with their new life back home. I have a feeling I won’t be able to let go right away when that time comes, and knowing that I’ve spent nearly 3 years with the same school, I reckon it’ll be an emotional rollercoaster. I know I have several months before that time comes, but I know that it’s something I’ll have to face eventually.

So far, it’s been a rather quiet journey this year with most of my time dedicated to school and my volunteer work with ATEK. To all Busaners, I encourage you to look into doing some volunteering if the nightlife doesn’t fancy you anymore. To become a member, check out our Facebook group “ATEK Busan Volunteer.” I can’t tell you how rewarding it feels when you’re doing something useful especially when you’re overseas.

Signing off,
Randy

Why I do what I do.....

Since coming back from America over 2 months ago, I looked long and hard at what goals I can accomplish coming into my 3rd year in Korea. The last two years have brought me inexplicable joy, as I have traveled, endured my ups and downs with teaching, tapped into the acting scene, and made many countless journeys with new friends and by myself. However, it wasn't enough for me. I felt my experience was still left unfulfilled until a couple of months ago when I was introduced to my friend Jessica through a mutual friend of ours. She had recently gotten involved with ATEK (Association for Teachers of English in Korea) which is a not-for-profit group which focuses on supporting both the expat community and the local Korean communities in need. ATEK, at that time, was hardly even heard of, but several months later, it's become one of the more prominent groups that many expats here in Busan have come to know.



When Busan Night Live was finished, I decided to get myself involved with ATEK. My goal after Korea would hopefully involve working in non-profit, and ATEK luckily provided the opportunities that I was looking for. Through ATEK, I have been involved with the Boys Orphanage in Nampo-Dong, helped raised money and toys for the Christmas Orphanage Drive, and currently involved in the city-wide collection drive for the Sae-Gil Women's Shelter.



The latter part of what I've been doing with ATEK reaches into the core of my heart. Korea, much like the rest of Asia, has a deep, disturbing issue of domestic abuse towards women and children. Despite the severity of these issues, Korea as a society has yet to confront these issues head on, and with its silence comes the deadly consequences that many abuse victims here have to face, not only from their perpetrator, but from the society that turns a blind eye and deaf ear to. I've written about this issue in one of my previous FB notes. After attending the Vagina Monologues show in Busan two months ago, I became further aware about the desperate situation that these shelters are in, the new laws that have restricted both funding for the shelter, and the victims who had to escape with little to their name. I knew right then and there, that I needed to help out, and seek other people who are also passionate about the cause, and ensure that the shelter(s) will continue to survive and be a place of proper refuge for these victims.



I became enraged and disturbed at the way many of these victims continue to get ignored by their society. Divorced women, and abuse victims (or both) are being discriminated against when trying to find a job because of the perception that they disobeyed their husbands, and often ignored by their own family and friends. Kids that have been abused and neglected at home have no outlet to turn to. Despite the growing globalization that's occurring here in Korea, it remains a society still fixated on Confuscianism, a concept that men with seniority and high status are the ones best at making the decisions while giving very little regard to those beneath them.



I have taught at the same boys middle school for the past 2 years, but in the past month, I slowly began to understand the reality that several of my students are in. As a teacher, and as someone who's unofficially a part of the community, it's easy to take for granted that we think of our students as "just" students, that we often think about making sure our lesson planning will go over well with the students, and to keep them as attentive and motivated as possible. However, it became more than that for me. I would oftentimes come across my students in my neighborhood (I live like 5 minutes away from my school), and they would often approach me and try to start a conversation. Every now and then, my students would join me whenever I am shooting hoops at the local high school, or try to beg me to buy them soda or ice cream (that never works). So, I knew right then and there, that I was more than just a simple foreigner teaching them English, but that I was living in THEIR community.



A student of mine was in my English winter camp during my 1st year. He was one of the quietest students I've ever had. He never spoke a word during my first year at our school, so I never had an opportunity to get to know him. During that first day of camp, he wouldn't do any of the activities, nor interact with his classmates, and there were times when he was late. I found it very puzzling, and soon, it became very frustrating as Ive tried coaxing him, being direct with him but his reactions were the same---very stoic with a silent nod. This would happen all throughout the 3 weeks of winter camp. I knew right then and there that something deep down was troubling him, but it seemed certain that he wasn't about to let himself trust me or anyone else. Several months later, he started to talk a little bit. He started hanging out with his classmates, and I often joke with him whenever he speaks with the gasping reply of "OH MY GOD...HE SPEAKS!!!!" Then, he had a meeting with his homeroom teacher, again another one of my other co-teachers, and finally revealed something that shed some light into his largely-muted psyche. His parents were recently divorced, but his father wouldn't allow him to see nor talk to his mother, and in the meantime, he would frequently abuse him and his sister without rhyme or reason. He's been begging his homeroom teacher to contact his mother, but to no luck from her end.



One day, I heard one of my students sobbing in the teacher's office. He was sitting just a few feet away from me. His homeroom teacher was quietly consoling him, and trying to investigate what had happened to him. I was watching discreetly, yet intently from my desk. I asked his homeroom teacher, who also another fellow co-teacher, about what had happened. She simply replied, "It's a really long story that I'll tell you for another time." During our school field trip a few days later, she confided in me that he has been living mostly alone in his house with his father making a visit or two each month. His mother simply disappeared from him years ago. One day, he tried entering his house but to no avail. He called the cops, and when his dad appeared at the doorstep, he shockingly told them that he had no idea who the boy was. Much to the boy's shock, he was taken to an orphanage overnight, and later sent back to his home. When it came time for art class, students were to draw their own future; however my student couldn't draw, not because of his artistic limitation, but because he felt that his future was too dark.



Another student of mine has gotten a case of identity crisis. He can oftentimes be the most respectful, loyal, hard-working kid you enjoy being around, and he can, at worse, be temperamental, unmotivated, and troublesome. I told my co-teacher "You know? This is what I think. I think he's got a great mother, but I think he's got issues with the men in his life." My co-teacher replied "You're absolutely correct." To me, it's not hard to notice. When you have a student who can often show charisma and sensitivity, (Sensitivity oftentimes strike the balance between humility and being temperamental), and having a side that is emotionally angry and bothered, then there is a conflict between both personalities. Having two parents who are on the polar opposite of one another seem to best illustrate the identity conflict. His mother, as he once confided in me, is his role model, his "angel", and his father and step-father are nothing close to that. His step-father is oftentimes abusive at home, and this might explain some of his recent behavior problems at school. Perhaps, it's my student's frustration at what's happening in his life. The person he loves so dearly is being abused, the society he lives in has no answers for it, his anger at his step-father for the abuse that he never asked for, and the non-parental role his birth father plays, could very well be linked to his anger and hurt.



It's stories like these that frustrate me over the lack of support for women and children in these situations. As a teacher, I have admittedly offered my support in a way where I'm able to provide some kind of help, but oftentimes, I feel incredibly helpless as I knowingly acknowledged that there are very few support systems for these kids and their mothers. It's too easy for me to try to play Batman or Robin Hood, and rescue them from their misery, but soon after, the reality does settle in, it becomes nearly impossible to be a superhero when you're only a mortal. Heck, I find it pretty darn difficult to play Robin, or any other superhero sidekick.



Despite these restraints and limitations, I am still determined to do what I can to be of some supportive outlet. But being a supportive outlet also means trying to find the thin gray line between my role as a teacher, and as someone who cares deeply about human rights. It also involves trying to reach an understanding with that person, and as stated, you can't be the hero, you can't try to make expectations that are above your reach. However, you can be the small little flashlight that can lightly beam through a dark, and empty cave. When you offer those in need a little bit of that light, then you give them some idea that there is hope. Small or large, it's still hope and it can survive. I still struggle with that role as a teacher sometimes because I truly do care about the well-being of my students, and I want them to live, and make their society a safe haven for themselves and for others.



Whenever I think about my involvement with the women's shelter,



I do it for the women in my life that have been abused (both verbally and physically)

I do it to give my middle finger to the government that dares to keep the subject quiet, while punishing the victims for embarrassing them.

I do it for some of my students who see home, not as a place of safe haven, but as a place of bruises and scars

I do it for those who struggle to find an outlet, or someone that will listen to them, instead of judging them for something that they did not do.

I do it for those who bravely dare to stand up, speak out, and take action against domestic violence in an Asian society that considers the topic taboo.

I do it for my friends and strangers who are passionate about working together to make this an important topic.

I do it because I want to live in a society that takes action against violence instead of keeping it under the rug.

I do it because I want to not have to hear the sound of shouting, crying, and abuse taking place outside of my home in the middle of the night, or when I'm walking into the city on said time.

I do it because I hope to never have to hurt someone who tries to attack an innocent victim.

I do it because I have too much love to give, and there are those that feel that they can't be loved.



I don't want this to sound like I'm specifically attacking Korea or Asia in general, but this is everywhere. It's taboo no matter where you go, but it doesn't have to be. It doesn't take a hero to change things for the better, it takes a team of sidekicks. That requires many pocket flashlights. I got mine still working. Does your work? :-)



Randy